Worst Enemy to Best Friend

She was once my worst enemy and has been in my life for as long as I can remember. She has verbally abused me and hurt me more than anyone else ever has. She only saw the negative in me, and very rarely saw anything positive about me. The things she has said to me I would never say to my own worst enemy. I always listened and believed every word she said too! As you can imagine, this didn’t bode well for my self-esteem. It also didn’t help others agreed and reinforced some of the things she told me such as “You’re too sensitive, you’re too fearful, you’re too this, you’re too that.” I politely agreed with all of it and lived most of my life believing I was who ‘they’ defined me to be, but especially who she defined me to be. Whatever she told me, I believed wholeheartedly as truth. It only took me 46 years to question this verbal abuser and talk back to her. She still comes around from time to time, but when she does, I now invite her in, give her a cup of coffee, and I ask her what it is she is trying to accomplish with saying such hurtful things. I recognize her own insecurity and instead of hating her, I love on her, and wouldn’t you know it, she ends up taking back what she says and actually says something nicer, less hurtful. We laugh about our craziness, and she leaves. I know she will come back, but I know she’s just looking for some love, some validation of who she is. Whenever I pour love back into her, she turns from being ruthless to being kind and loving. She’s all I have really, my one true friend. She’s the only one who has never left me, always sticks by me through good times and bad, thick and thin. She’s been through everything I’ve been through. Although I don’t always like her, I know she will never EVER leave me. She went from being my worst enemy to my very best friend. She now teaches me about love, compassion, self-worth, acceptance, authenticity, and bravery. She has taught me how to enjoy the presence of my own company more than anyone elses. She is helping me step outside of my comfort zone and do things I never dreamed of. She went from verbally abusing me to now nurturing me to be the best version of me. Sometimes she shows up as a wise old woman. Other times she is a little girl. She’s my very best friend; she is me and I am her. We are one.